Over 11% of all Americans are infected with parasitic Pinworms, which make your ass itch at night when they come crawling out of your anus to lay their eggs. This makes you scratch your ass and helps these sticky eggs spread, often to your own breakfast, thereby repeating the cycle.
The Enterobius pinworm has a worldwide distribution, and is the most common helminth (i.e., parasitic worm) infection in the United States, western Europe, and Oceania. In the United States, a study by the Center of Disease Control reported an overall incidence rate of 11.4% among people of all ages. Pinworms are particularly common in children, with prevalence rates in this age group having been reported as high as 61% in India, 50% in England, 39% in Thailand, 37% in Sweden, and 29% in Denmark. Finger sucking has been shown to increase both incidence and relapse rates, and nail biting has been similarly associated. Because it spreads from host to host through contamination, pinworms are common among people living in close contact, and tends to occur in all people within a household. The prevalence of pinworms is not associated with gender, nor with any particular social class, race, or culture. Pinworms are an exception to the tenet that intestinal parasites are uncommon in affluent communities. The earliest known instance of pinworms is evidenced by pinworm eggs found in coprolite, carbon dated to 7837 BC at western Utah.